In the cyberfling, finding all the thrill, none of the guilt Some online caht rooms increasingly are turning into online cheat rooms. Married sex chat year, for her dissertation, Mileham surveyed married people who, complaining they feel neglected by spouses, secretly seek emotional and sexual gratification with strangers on the Internet.
She witnessed a world of third-rate romance and high-tech rendezvous. While many of the cyberflings remain anonymous, some lead to affairs offline. And all begin with the click of a mouse. As one year-old married man told Mileham: "All I have to do is turn on my computer and I have thousands of women to choose from.
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Seventy-six identified themselves as men and 10 as women. They represented every state, claiming to be engineers, nurses, corporate leaders, chat colombiano gratis workers and stay-at-home moms. All but two of those cases resulted in actual affairs. Mileham, 36, has apparently touched a nerve with her study, which underscores the concerns of couples counselors that chat rooms are a major cause of broken relationships.
Since the survey was announced July 17, she has been deluged with requests for radio, TV and newspaper interviews.
Petersburg Times last week. Times: What gave you the idea to do this? Mileham: At first, I wasn't sure what to do. I was thinking of doing something with the psychology of homeless children in Brazil.
But I'd have to spend so much money on travel, a hotel, food. Then one cybesex, I was on a Web site in Brazil, and I saw there were chat cybsrsex, and I thought, what is this? Can you talk with people here? So I went supernatural chat the chat room and it was really weird. I quickly realized it was becoming very sexualized, very soon.
Too soon. People asking gay sex chat san bernardino do you look like? What is your age, your sex, are you married? I thought, maybe it's just this chat room. So Gguy went ladies message another one and started exploring. Then another and another, and the same thing was happening.
So I said, this is it. I can do this for my dissertation. I was afraid that my professors weren't going to accept it because I wanted to conduct it inside the chat rooms, all online. What if people slut finder olgovka
Cybersex addiction takes toll but not in the way predicted
That's always been an issue. I cannot guarantee percent that people were not lying. But I can also say that I spent the time necessary to get to know people. I felt that they were being honest. And I also talked for an hour, sometimes two.
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And I think people felt protected by the anonymity of the Internet. So people revealed things very candidly. I do think they were being honest. Times: Are you surprised by the reaction chat with bbw lake charles girl the survey so far? Mileham: Definitely. It's a good study. It's kind of small scale, but the response has been overwhelming. I really didn't expect anything. I was thinking maybe the Gainesville Sun might possibly pick it up.
But it's been all over the world. When I had the idea, I thought, this is a hot topic. There hasn't been much research. But Hoel didn't know it was this hot. Times: What's the definition of cybersex? Mileham: The profession, psychology and counseling, doesn't have an official definition of cybersex.
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I saw one definition that says it can be just sexy chat, with sexual innuendoes, and no touching of yourself or anything. Other research says that cybersex is masturbation while you exchange sexual content on a computer. And I use the second definition. Times: Just as you couldn't be sure if people were being truthful, how do online chat with girl in usa chatting know if the person they're having a cyberfling with is being truthful about their background, even their sex?
Mileham: There's no guarantee. There's no way you can know, even though some people put their picture on their profiles. And I think some people don't care, actually. Because you have a whole range. Some people are there for just a sex fix for the day, as they call it. Hop online, get someone, have cybersex and then, goodbye, I'll never see you again or chat room horny to you again.
They're just having some fantasy. They imagine someone attractive, and that's it for them. But some people do have more emotional contact, a deeper connection.
And they sometimes have regular contact. I found that to be true for a lot of people. Times: It sounds as if anonymity is the key. Mileham: Absolutely.
Anonymity is the No. It's very safe. And not only that, there is no touching of another person.
So I would say the anonymity coupled with the no-touching aspect. You're just a screen name. You're only exposed if you want to be.
Cybersex addiction takes toll but not in the way predicted
You control the interaction. And when you're done with chat german, click the mouse, goodbye. Gjy out of your life. People can brush it off much more easily than they might if they had met somebody face to face and liked them.
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Times: Why did many more men respond? Mileham: Women rejected me left and right, and I was curious nude boy chat des moines nc. And I still don't know why. But I asked some males in the chat room. They said women are bombarded with messages from males, and they can pick and choose, and they wouldn't choose to talk to a female researcher if they could choose some hot hoetl. And I do believe there are some hidden dynamics going on: the men talking with me, knowing that I'm female, even though they don't know what I look like.
Sure, they did ask what I look like. But, of course, I didn't go into that. Maybe they thought, "Well, maybe it's a sexy female researcher" or something like that.
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Times: What about the offline activity? Mileham: I found that 30 percent of the people in my study go ahead and have offline affairs with people they met online, so the vast majority stayed online. Times: What were the reasons interracial chester maryland chat gave for doing this? Mileham: Several reasons. The main one was lack of sex in their marriage.
They complained that their wives were too involved in bringing up their children, and were always tired, so they neglected the sexual side of the relationship. Many men said, "I love my wife," so the connection is there. But they'd say, "I need something more.
And so I go online and get it. Mileham: The rationalization is that, "I am not touching anybody, cha this is okay. They'd say, "How chat cu web I be cheating if I'm talking with a person 2, miles away? Mostly, people describe it as not real. It's just something you can click out, and it's gone.